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A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
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I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
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Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
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A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
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Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
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The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there\'s no risk of accident for someone who\'s dead.
The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
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What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
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All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
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The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
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Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
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Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, \'Why god? Why me?\' and the thundering voice of God answered, \'There\'s just something about you that pisses me off.\'
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
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I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
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The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
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When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
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Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
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Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
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A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
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Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
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The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
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I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
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Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
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In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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I\'ve never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I\'ve seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don\'t talk about other people.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven\'t said enough.
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That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
O\'Toole\'s Corollary of Finagle\'s Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
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Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you\'ll be afraid to cough.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
最終更新日 : 2012/01/15/(Sun) 10:19
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